So, I still do have a huge part of 2015 missing and I'll continue taking my time updating this space with the events so I thought might as well do a review and a "New Year New Start" kinda post first.
First up,
Happy Ma'er F**kin New Year!!!
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2015 began on a rough start. It was horrible as soon as it started and I couldn't wait for the entire year to be over asap.
Little did I know, 2015 happened to be one of the most life-changing year for me.
Looking back, I was honestly a little taken aback at how much I had actually ventured out of my comfort zone throughout the year.
There were definitely a lot of "first(s)" for me and I am so proud of how I'd lived 2015.
If you know me well, you'll know I like to live life on a "been there done that" motto. Meaning, regardless of the outcome, whether I'd liked it or not, I'd still prefer to have given it a try before deciding if it's something I'll continue doing. And 2015 had been a year of that.
I honestly didn't think I would grow to like 2015 this much, but I did, and here are a few of the defining "YOLO" / "Out Of Comfort Zone" moments that made my 2015.
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The 1st time I went for curls :
I have natural curls and I hated it, which is why I've been going for rebonding once a year ever since I was like 15. I had NEVER EVER wanted to try curls and even this time was an accident.
It wasn't really an accident per se but whatever. Had to listen to the hairdresser so I didn't really had a choice.
The surprising thing was how much I actually liked it before it went completely unmanageable and proved myself right again to hate curls.
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The 1st time I was given a chance to share centre on stage:
Sorry, I know this isn't exactly a huge achievement and trust me, I'm not trying to be a showoff here.
The opportunity to perform for CDC really impacted me because this was the performance when I first had people telling me they noticed me since auditions and they like the way I dance, or they noticed improvement from the start of my journey, etc. Those words honestly meant a hell lot to me.
Only a few would know how demoralised I felt throughout my journey with DWZ.
I embarked on my dance journey at a later stage in life and truth be told, it did affect my confidence in a negative way because I always think I haven't learnt enough. Through my experiences and learning journey here, I too didn't feel like I was good enough because the alumni game is strong here and well, a lot of people couldn't even remember my name. I've only told 1 person about all the negativity I felt and I really wanna thank her for her words of encouragement because I wouldn't have pushed on without her. And if I hadn't pushed on, I wouldn't have had participated in this performance, which helped me gained the confidence I needed.
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My 1st real job:
Oh my. Speaking of this, this job is....
Now, while this is not "the last job I will ever pick up", it is a job that I've never seen myself doing throughout all 21 years of my life growing up. I've envisioned my future countless times but never once, this:
A Financial Adviser.
At the start, I only had one thought: All my friends and family are going to avoid me now since they will just shun whoever is an insurance agent. And lo and behold, there were really people who had joked about shunning me when they learned I was undergoing job training.
I had wanted to give up before I even started.
However, as I started learning more about this industry, I got pulled in.
I enjoyed what I was doing because I saw how I could make a difference in someone's life, and that in itself is something that is so rare to come by.
Apart from that, I am also really really glad I joined this team. Together, there is this amazing synergy and everyone is kinda on the same frequency on and off work and I believe this is one of the rarest find in any environment.
I am so glad I decided to stick around and gave it a try.
Oh and added bonus that the activities we do during our team bonding sessions are also firsts for me.
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The 1st time I went for a popping class / workshop:
This is way way way out of my comfort zone
(and for the non-dancers, basically "popping" is not my genre)
and I only went for it because it was Kite. Lol.
Enough said.
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The 1st time I completed all thrill rides in USS:
Because I didn't manage to catch Cylon the first time I went and both coasters closed ever since.
YAY TO FINALLY RIDING BOTH CYLON AND HUMAN!!!!
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My 1st escape room experience in JB:
This deserved a mention because the rooms were freaking cool with
1. Real sand that you have to dig through
2. A freaking train system
3. Legit complete darkness which freaked my sis and I out
4. Climbing through coffins
5. Legit prison gates
If you are interested in finding out more, stay tuned to my future post about it :P
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My last graduation from school:
This is the biggest step out of a comfort zone for everybody around my age.
In an instant, we are no longer students. Suddenly, the routine that we have gotten so used to is gone and we have to get used to something else. And by routine, I don't mean waking up for school everyday. I mean having to just finish projects by deadlines and passing exams to get to the next stage.
I was lost when I finished my last paper. I wasn't exactly eager to embark on a career. All I wanted then was to relax, have fun for awhile, travel while I can, while away time before it's time to get serious again. Then, I ran out of cash. I had to work, I had to start somewhere, somehow. The craziest part was that I had no "dream job" in mind. Or rather, I had but it wasn't something I could do immediately, and while working towards it, I still have to get out there and earn money for survival.
I was blindly sending resumes to positions that had some kind of relation to my field of study. I knew what I was looking for, but nothing definite. It's like you don't know what you want, but you know what you definitely do not want. The transition phase was filled with a lot of "tryouts" and all I can say to upcoming graduates is "Be prepared to feel like a lost sheep all over again".
There will always be times where one will miss being a student again. And to all the lucky asses like me, you will definitely miss skipping lessons yet being able to ace your test, or smoking through your projects and getting an "A".
"The next stage" in your working life will never happen like that.
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My 1st dance event in a club:
My kind of party.
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Not exactly the 1st, but it'd been a long time since we travelled as a family of four:
And yeah, the 1st time I had to take on the role of leading a group in a foreign country.
When we were young, we relied on our parents for most things. For one, I didn't have to worry about anything for overseas trip and my mum took care of everything. For the 1st time, my parents relied on me. They relied on me to get us to our destinations, to recommend places, to ask for directions, to even get them back to the hotel. Although it can get a little (not exactly little but..yeah) irritating, it sure felt good to have them rely on me for a change.
It hit me that I'm really a grown up now, embarking on a new journey, a new phase of life after the realisation that my parents can now depend on me to make decisions not just for myself, but for the family as well.
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Last but not least, presenting my largest milestone till date; my proudest journey;
the most meaningful, impactful, purposeful and definitely the most significant event of 2015:
My 1st solo trip!!!!!!!!!!
This is extremely huge for me because:
1. My father did not allow me to travel overseas on my own with friends until I was 19
2. And he relented only because when I was 19, I did it secretly while I had my passport with me
3. This trip was meant to not only be a holiday trip, but a dance trip as well
4. I will be gone for a whole month this time
It's like my 1st solo trip and yet I chose it to be of such a long duration.
Of course, it took awhile for my parents to give in to the idea but they sort of knew they couldn't stop me anyway. I'd my flight and accommodation taken care of 4 months prior to the trip and it was also the 1st time I felt such conviction to carry something through.
I was lucky to be able to meet up some of my Singaporean friends while I was there and it did make me feel a little more comfortable being in a foreign place alone.
During this trip, countless "first"s happened to me as well and I can't find the words to express how much I have learned from this journey.
I had my very 1st food poisoning case this trip, which led to my 1st visit to a hospital's A&E (yes, I haven't even been to A&E in SG), and this is also my 1st health / medical incident overseas.
I digress but this incident has also made me realise the importance of having a travel insurance that covers you fully.
I also had my 1st, and subsequently 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc encounter with getting picked up by guys
in a foreign country.
I'm sorry guys, but this is a moment of glory only girls will understand.
It does feel different when you get picked up overseas though. Or at least I felt different.
In my opinion, it's definitely better to make a local friend (of course after ascertaining that these people do not harbour any ill intentions) and thus I am less guarded (I know, the irony).
Also, when they find out that I'm not local, there is no pressure to exchange (or to reject exchanging) numbers at all. Besides, technological advances made it so easy for us to connect through social media nowadays and you know, adding each other on Facebook or Line wouldn't hurt.
Yes, and that was what I did.
That is also, of course, if you are not someone who divulge your personal information on your social media accounts.
And before you start judging, I also managed to make local friends with people who were not trying to pick me up as well.
So ... cheers to the first of my international friends that I made overseas!
Now I have friends to ask recommendations from / look for when I'm in Taiwan! :D
This trip also marked my 1st battle event overseas.
In fact, it's even the first major kind of event that I auditioned for. Previously in SG, I only managed to muster up the courage to try for amateur battle events and I have never imagined that the 1st larger-scaled event I would try out for would take place outside of Singapore. Lol.
No surprise, I didn't get through but I had a lot of fun watching the battles tho and I definitely took home a lot from the event. Not only was I exposed to the scene culture of another country, I was also able to learn from them just by watching them in real time. Now I understand how different the vibes can be when you are present in real time versus watching videos. Just soaking in the event vibes alone made the whole trip worthwhile.
In 2014, my 21st marked the 1st birthday I spent away from my family and away from home.
In 2015, I celebrated my 1st Christmas, in fact my 1st festive holiday, away from my family and away from home. That was the day I finally started to miss home. (I don't wanna spoil this touching moment but it really wasn't because I was alone but rather, because there was absolutely no Christmas vibes in Taipei at all -.- )
On a sidenote, it was also the 1st time I stayed in a place that had no freaking lift and I had to climb five flight of stairs everyday and I singlehandedly carried my 31.9kg luggage together with 3 carry-ons which weighed in at another 15kg down five flight of stairs on the last day and dragged them all the way to the freaking airport.
That was more effective than any workout I've ever done in my entire life. The next day, my arms ached the same way they do after a rigorous day of training at dance (yes, including PTs).
So moral of story: Go on more solo trips, and get accommodation at places without lifts.
Kidding 'bout the latter, completely serious 'bout the former.
After this trip, I will really really really want to be able to embark on more solo trips in the future.
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The events I have mentioned have made me stepped out of my comfort zone and undoubtedly, I have definitely learned from them and grown a little more. These were all positive events that happened in 2015.
Of course, there were also negative events that have forced me to learn and grow as well.
For a first, I broke up from my longest relationship.
I'm not gonna explain or describe the whole thing in detail here, so let's just say I am now certain that I made the right decision as I am definitely a happier person now.
Don't get me wrong, it did not end on a sour note and nobody did anything wrong to damage the relationship. It was just not what I wanted and the struggle through it all made me discover things I'd never known about myself.
The most heartbreaking moment happened this past year when my grandfather decided to join my grandmother in the better place and became one of them angels above.
It wasn't as painful as my grandmother's passing because this time round, we all saw it coming. It wasn't as hard to take in, yes, but it was still a difficult time nonetheless.
Words I wanted to say, I've said them to him. I just want my family to know, we're going through this together, and we'll all come out stronger, just like we have 4 years ago.
有您， 我多了一份愛。失去您， 我多了一份痛， 多了一股思念。因為您， 我學會從傷痛中走出來， 學會在失去的過程中堅強。永遠活在我心中的你們， 謝謝。下輩子，還是要做你們的孫子， 叫出阿公阿嬤。
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All in all, I had an eventful 2015 and I'm extremely grateful and thankful for everything that has happened this year. I guess now I can really say the year 2015 had been a major turning point for me in my life.
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2016.
Moving on, for 2016, cliche as it sounds, I do hope for bigger and better things to happen.
I don't have many expectations of how I would want 2016 to turn out, but let's just make resolutions for the fun of it shall we?
Maybe at the end of the year, I'll actually do a check and see how many of these things I've managed to strike off :
1. Finish updating this blog to date. (Lesser throwback posts at least)
2. Travel to a new country.
3. Go on a trip with my sister only.
4. Achieve convention award at work.
5. Drink less soft drinks and more water.
6. Take my parents on a relaxing holiday.
7. Create a new milestone in dance.
8. Embrace my flaws.
9. Be more positive and stop letting negative thoughts / energy ruin my day(s).
10. Get my freaking brows done.
11. Toner body.
12. Start taking driving lessons.
13. Learn a new language. (Japanese please)
14. Pick up a new interest / hobby.
15. Convince my mum to let us keep a dog.
Although I do already have a feeling at least 1 thing on that list is gonna remain uncrossed (hint hint woof woof), I'm gonna do my best anyway.
Here's to a better year, a fresh new start, and an awesome journey ahead! ^^
X
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